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Most children of alcoholics have also experienced some form of neglect or abuse in the home. Households where alcohol use disorder is present are often chaotic and unpredictable.
It should be noted that, for two-parent households, it is not possible to determine whether both parents in the household had SUD. About 7.0 million children aged 17 or younger resided in a two-parent household with at least one parent who had a past year SUD, and 1.7 million resided in a single-parent household with a parent who had a past year SUD.
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So adult children of alcoholic parents may have to guess at what it means to be “normal.” Parents struggling with alcoholism (which experts call “alcohol use disorder” or AUD) may be surprised or concerned to learn about the affect their drinking can have on their children now and through adulthood. Their kids, however, may find relief knowing what may have contributed to some of the issues they may face today. Children of parents with alcohol problems work hard to perform normality aiming to restore social order and family interaction.
Car accidents are the #1 cause of death for teenagers, and many fatal accidents are alcohol-or drug-related. Ask your child to call you if he’s considering driving after drinking or using drugs or if he realizes that whoever is driving him somewhere is not completely sober. Assure him you’ll reward his maturity by not getting mad or using it against him in any way.
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Coupled with being conditioned to use denial to cope with emotions, children of parents with alcohol use disorder will often find they have difficulty with impulse control in adulthood. As adults, they take an unhealthy, unrealistic, all-or-nothing approach to life – either everything is okay or nothing is. This creates a pattern of disappointment, which reinforces a poor self-image and low self-esteem. A negative self-image can also be the result of having alcoholic parents. Because children are dependent on caregivers, their self-perception develops as a reflection of how they are viewed by caregivers and authority figures. An absent parent with an AUD may not provide their child with an accurate perception of themselves, which can cause life-long issues with self-image.
Organizations are permitted to create links to AACAP’s website and specific Facts sheets. For all questions please contact the AACAP Communications Manager, ext. 154. Depression – The child feels lonely and helpless struggling with alcohol addiction to change the situation. Embarrassment – Parents may give the child the message that there is a terrible secret at home. The ashamed child does not invite friends home and is afraid to ask anyone for help.
